Monday, November 01, 2004


Election Predictions

Ok, it's the day before the day before the next four years; time for a few prognostications:

  1. Bush will win 300+ EV's.

  2. The Republicans will pick up an additonal 4-5 Senate seats and a few extra in the House, as well.

  3. The MSM will blame Kerry's campaign rather than his message (i.e. style, not substance). They will also credit Bush's margin of victory to factors other than the war, but will nonehteless emphasize the "fundamental opposition of many" to it.

  4. Bad weather will also be blamed for minimizing Dem turnout. Later, this will be expanded to claim that Global Warming is a deliberate vote-suppression technique, conceived by Karl Rove.

  5. Al Gore will quietly be removed from a lot of Rolodexes.

  6. Most Iraqis will openly approve of Bush's victory. The MSM won't notice; they will instead interview a terrorist.

  7. The Democratic Underground will simultaneously declare fraud, call the voters stupid, demand that the US scrap the first-past-the-post system in favor of proportional representation, and pronounce democracy an obstacle to social progress. They will react much as the Arab world did to the fall of Baghdad ("but that wasn't what we were told would happen!). Then they will go to the Campus bar and get drunk.

  8. Less than 1% of Dems who threatened to leave, if Bush won, actually will. Most of them will be students studying abroad or brides & grooms marrying a foreigner.

  9. Dems will speak of impeaching Bush until someone politely points out that you need Congressmen and Senators on your side for that.

  10. Calls for a redical (i.e. violent) opposition on the Left will rise. A few nutsos will take this to heart. The MSM will romanticize them.

  11. The French will congratulate Kerry for his campaign before they congratulate Bush for his victory.

  12. Afterwards, Hillary will go home, kick off her shoes, and sip a glass of red wine while smiling contentedly.
We'll review these later and see how I did.